Setting Boundaries Like Nature: What Fall Teaches Us About Saying No

It is as if almost nature got the call, switched off the heat, and turned on the natural air conditioning. Fall is in the air. At least here, where I live, it has gone from super-hot to a crisp morning and breezy afternoon. When stepping out of the house to drop the kids off at school in the morning, I'm wrapped in fall weather. Unfortunately, the clouds also remain. To me that signals coffee and Harry Potter weather. (Yes, I am a Harry Potter fan and we'll bring my kids up right by introducing them to the plot and later on, hopefully, the literary work.) 

Nature has a way of slowing down and going dormant. As the weather changes, in the small town in which I live, I love driving down 9th Street. Looking out at the structures, the old architecture, and the color transitions on the trees. I'm starting to see Halloween decorations and pumpkins. The spooky season is upon us. It's also one that I tend to embrace with the kids. Costumes and other fun fall activities are at hand, unlike summer and fun at the pool. 

So what can we learn from nature? What can we learn from nature about slowing down? With a change that we see before us and the weather and in the grass and the trees in the wildlife, it reminds us that change is inevitable. Change is part of life. It's going to happen whether we want to or not. Things do not happen on our time or our schedule. It also reminds me to slow down. Enjoy the sunlight when I can. Enjoy the warmth while it lasts before the snowy weather blows in. 

I guess as I get older, I am more reminded of what it means to fall. I think at the age of 42 with small kids, and being a mid-career physician, for me, fall means falling into alignment. Alignment. Falling into alignment with my priorities and my true values. I'm falling into my true self. Maybe something that I internally fought against during medical school or residency. I'm starting to circle back to things that grabbed my attention in my late teens and early twenties. This exact circling back has been the topic of multiple conversations in my household. It's almost like an itch that has not been scratched. Fall is not just about slowing down, but also about change and honoring what has been and what potentially will be. Sometimes we need the lull to contemplate, regroup, and be reborn. 

And the stillness, in the fall, I know that longer nights and shorter days lay ahead. It's during that time more often than not that many things become clear, mentally, spiritually, emotionally psychologically. It's during this time that I solidify what I hold to be my priorities. I also find myself tending to say no as maybe I'm old and I like to be home in the evening hours. That's contradictory to more of saying yes during the summer and late spring with longer hours of daylight. But for me it's usually a time of reflection, it's a time of enjoyment. I find that I start to re-embrace my inner child even more so with the holiday season in our house, it kicks off with Halloween.

Do you, and if you do, how do you embrace fall? Leave a comment below.